Life’s been a long fight. Still fighting. Looks like I will be fighting for a long time. Not sure how much fight I have left in me but for now, it’s all I can do. How long can someone fight for something they cannot control? How long can one fight? Depression is a silent killer and I can feel why. Numb all over, shaky hands and a heart that tweeks pain on 10 minute rotations. Can’t sleep much, wish I could. I have to make it through this day. Monday October the 2nd, 2017. I need this day to be over fast. A friendly seated hug with a back pat. I would have never guessed my life would be like this today. As I blog my book, I am forced to reminisce my life. My internal hidden depression keeps trying to show it’s ugly face then my emotions run high shortly afterwards. Please someone help me, help me make it through this day today… I’m going to need all the help I can get. Dear God, I’ve prayed until my hands got sore. Can’t sleep. It’s morning. Going back to bed now. Hopefully I can sleep this day away but this torture won’t let me off that easy. What is a humans possible breaking point? It’s close. I’m waiting for it.
Finally, the day arrived. I had made sure my staff were all ok. They called a meeting of directors in the morning and I was to head out afterwards. The meeting was a little odd. Owen was there with Leann and my liaison for employers including Serena and she had also called in a friend of hers to take notes. Strangely, they kept talking about the finances of the business leading questions towards me. They didn’t seem happy with the answers. Serena was in charge of all money and had the bank cards and cheques. She was the one to five me the financial reports so she new about all that was happening. They told me that all cash should go through Serena? I told them it already does. The o my cash I ever had on me was when Serena was not there or left early. I had the cash at the end of the day in which I always gave her by morning. She had the reports from the debit machine every morning as well. My niece who worked reception would always take any cash payments and give them to Serena. Odd meeting. It strangely felt as though I was trying to defend myself and I wasn’t sure why. Towards the end of the meeting, Owen mentioned something about a large investor coming into to business. I was shocked. Serena must have told him about Kuma but I could not understand why. I told Serena a while back about everything that had happened. She new I was going to tell everyone when I got back. Why would she tell Owen? I told him that I would discuss what happened when I returned from this holiday after a week. I did not want anyone to know anything. It was no ones business. When the strange meeting was over, I had to really think about what it was actually called for. Nothing of real importance of the ” happening now” was discussed. Nothing about clients or members or situations. Directors meeting were to cover many issues at hand but it was only about me and the past. Weird? The meeting was over and everyone hugged me and wished me a safe holiday. I noticed Serena had left the staff room quite angry. Trying so hard to show as though she was fine. Many weird things were happening that morning. Staff whispering, actually working, other staff members congregating in each other’s offices. I decided to just leave it all alone. If I started asking questions, it would turn into another meeting followed by another and I would never leave! I only had one week and the clock was ticking! Just then, I received a call from my brother. This whole vacation was his idea. Fighting multiple myeloma cancer, just coming out of a coma, doctor have him only three weeks to live. He wanted this holiday for immediate family members. To have one last gathering in his most precious and happiest place. On a lake, fishing. My brother had to have dialysis every second day. We had to book his dialysis appointments near the lake we were going to in British Columbia. My brother had called sounding sad. I immediately thought something was wrong with his health that had maybe gotten worse! Rob told me that there was no way he could go on this vacation he planned. He had previously booked his dialysis on the days we were all to be at the lake. All was booked and well. The nurses had apparently just called him telling him that because he was not a B.C resident, he was not priority to other patients that WERE from the area. They would get the dialysis over him in priority sequence. He was unable to go. It was so sad. He was dying, had one last wish and it couldn’t happen. He called me insisting that I take my sister’s and my mother, everyone that was suppose to go, anyways. Regardless of his situation. We would definitely not get a refund if we cancelled as we gave them no notice what so ever. We were all expected to be on the boat by the evening and ready to set off by morning the following day. It broke my heart. I called the family and they had already known the change in plans regarding my brother. My only uncle who was close to us amongst many uncles, promised he would do everything in his power to make sure our brother was ok. My brother also made me swear one thing to him, to promise. We were all not allowed to tell our mother about his not being able to make it. His only wish was that our mother went on this boat and took a little relaxing moment. It was only one week. The staff wondered why I had all of a sudden seemed sad. I told some of them the truth about my brother and others, well, they were taking such advantage of me, I didn’t care for them to know anything. It surely was no business of theirs. I finally made it out of the office and the whirlwind I had just experienced. It felt so nice to walk to the car, walk away from the office and just have a break. Everyone was ok. Everything around me was ok for now. I could not wait to get home and hit the road. I think I was more excited for the drive than the actual boat. The drive to B.C. was known as one of the most beautiful drives in the world. The trees, mountains, wildlife and waterfalls. The smell of fresh pine. I loved it. The best thing as well? My new camaro convertible. I was so excited to get it on the highway and see how it would preform. Marcus, myself, the kids and my niece were to go in the first convoy, the rest of them, shortly thereafter. We had finally left the house and were well on our way! The highway was beautiful! Sin was shining, the top was down on my new car and the views were amazing.it felt so wonderful to be away from everything! When we arrived, we checked in and they told us which boat was ours. We had all the luggage and food with us. It was our job to load the boat and have everything ready before the rest of them arrived. They had big bins with wheels that you load and push and a long dock filled with boats. We were to put our stuff in these huge bins to assist us in taking our stuff to our appointed boat without having to make too many miniscule trips. Even with the bins, it would take forever because we sure were loaded! After almost two hours, with Marcus doing most of the trips and me having to stay in the boat to arrange the stuff including fridge and freezer stuff that needed the coolness right away, Marcus was getting exhausted and I could see that but there was no extra help anywhere. After a little time passed, I could hear rowdyness on the boat docked right next to us. It was a boat full of bachelor’s. They were having a bachelor party on the lake and after talking to them, were going to spend a week houseboating. They noticed Marcus making several trips and when a few of them came into the boat, they were astonished by the amount of food and stuff we had. “Twelve people for a week” I told them. One gentleman came up to me and asked for a roll of papertowel. In return, he would get his buddies to help Marcus bring our stuff down from the car to the boat. That was great!!!! I thanked them profusely and they went to grab bins and begin helping Marcus with all that was left. After that exhausting job, we finally finished. It was dark. Everyone else was suppose to land by morning. As soon as they all arrived, we were going to take off! The morning arrived quickly and we were so excited! We were all on the boat and anxious to leave. It was an intense feeling of freedom as the boat left the marina. I was so overwhelmed with the views and the smells of lake and fresh trees pine. With all I was going through at work and with my brother fighting for life, it was nice to see a smile on everyone’s face. I remember thinking a week would not be long enough but everyone had to get back to their jobs and I had to investigate the weird directors meeting we had the day before. It played heavy on my mind but I didn’t want to ruin the only little peaceful vacation I was just starting. The meaning of family fun? Go houseboating. We spent our days fishing and swimming. Sun tanning and cooking. Cooking was actually an understatement. When we caught a fish, the frying pan on the bbq was ready! Between all the meals for the day, the hot sun and the scenery, one couldn’t help but totally unwind. My sister’s daughter was with us and her son who was only one years old. He was the highlight our trip. His cuteness overload and pudgyness was more than us aunties could take. We would beach somewhere every night and enjoy a fire while some of us enjoyed the upper deck jacuzzi under the stars. Every morning, in the wee early hours, we would have races on who got up to make their coffee first and get to the back of the boat to grab a rod and throw a line in! Only three people could fish at one time. A line on each side with one center. We would catch fish after fish using garlic sausage coil pieces. Who knew fish liked sausage? None of us really knew how to fish because our brother, who was the real pro fisherman was suppose to be with us. Showing us what to do. Our heart saddened every time we thought of him back home and wanting to be with us. If it was not for his dialysis, this trip he planned would have been so much better! His dying wish was his insistence that we go for this week holiday. We just couldn’t help our hearts pain of him suffering with his dialysis and chemo while we were on his dream vacation. The days were passing fast. When your at work, time stands still. When your on a holiday, time flies! Our beautiful weather held out until the before we were suppose to leave. A massive storm was headed our way and all houseboats were being warned over the radio dispatch. Precautions and warnings including step by step safety rules of how to handle the boat through the oncoming storm played over and over on the dispatch radio. Thankfully Marcus knew his stuff! We would have to quickly find a beach and ram it head on while keeping the boat gassed on full throttle ahead. When the waves would come crashing us from behind Marcus would have to try to keep the boat face first towards the beach. If for any reason the boats back end would start drifting towards the beach meaning the boat would be parallel along side the beach, the massive waves could flip us and we would not be able to start the motor. The back end would be on the beach making it too shallow. Starting the motor in shallow rocks and sand would definitely break it. If that happened we would be at the mercy of the waves which was very dangerous. There would be no way out other than to radio for a tow and wait over six hours for them to arrive. Marcus did an unbelievable unbelievable job keeping us safe and properly handling the boat through the entire storm. By the evening, the storm passed and the waters were calm again. We spent our last evening gutting and packing the many fish we caught to show off to our brother that we were not pros like him and caught all these large fish anyways! Packing to leave was so strenuous but at least we had more help this time. We checked out, gassed up our cars and began the long convoy home! What a beautiful mini vacation that was!
We were a few weeks away from our houseboat vacation for my brothers last will. Working hard on Kumas homes, trying to get everything fixed and done before her sister arrived was difficult. I was juggling so many things ay the same time. We had a truck between Marcus and I. I never really needed a car. I would come and go with my sister to work all the time and after that, Marcus always got home early enough for me to have a vehicle for the afternoon well into the evening. It was a nice Dodge Ram 1500, mega cab. Blue and spacious. The winters we had in Canada would make us appreciate it big time! I had always dreamed of owning a camaro convertable. I quickly decided that it was about time a got one! I went to see a dealer my sister used all the time. Friendly and not pushy. He showed me the new ones on the lot and we went over pricing. It was affordable! It actually was not as expensive as I thought it would be. The total was around fifty five thousand dollars. I thought he was going to say eighty thousand dollars at least! I decided before making that commitment that I would test drive a few different cars first. The interest rate would be around six percent. Not bad. I went home and the following day, I picked up Kuma and we went on some joy rides. I rented a mustang for the day. We loved it. Kuma made me laugh so hard on her broken English saying we were two hot chicks in a sports car and we were going to attract good looking Asian men. The next day we rented a Sebring convertible and had a joy ride once again. The following day we rented a white mustang again and decided to rent it for two days. We had fun with it but found it a little compact. No space hardly. We all ended up going out for dinner that night. Kuma picked up her daughter and my husband met me at her house with our two kids. Kuma took us to a place by her house. Japanese of course. She wanted us to try it. We ordered and the food was fantastic! We had such a good time. She asked us to come back to her place because she had bought some new ice cream. Kuma said the kids would love it. When we got to her house, she couldn’t find her house key. Her daughter had left it on the counter. She started to panic as there was really no way into her house. She had the back locked up securely because it was just cliff side. She had no balconies for safety, is was locked tight. Kuma tried opening the garage in hopes her daughter had left the back garage door open. It was the first time I had ever seen her garage from the inside. She checked the door and if course, it was locked. I told her not to panic because we could just call a locksmith and all would be fine. The inside of her garage was loaded with disaster supplies! Water and more water, sleeping bags and canned goods. Kuma was always afraid of what the psychic man in India told her. The world was going to end and she would be safe in Canada. Particularly in Calgary or Edmonton. Kuma confessed to us that she was constantly gathering supplies just in case. The locksmith finally arrived and let us in. I could see the relief in her. That day was also the day I noticed she had piles of salt in every corner of her house. At least three inches high each one. I of course, had to ask why. Kuma told me it wards off evil. Bad spirits that may want to enter her home. In the business I was in, I was always intrigued by different cultures and ways of people. I learned so much. Kuma was the friend and client that taught me so much Japanese culture. In my own mind, I would always compare the varieties of cultures we had in our world. It sure was interesting! The ice cream was delicious and she topped it off with fresh cherries. After all was done, I told Kuma that I would be leaving on a holiday slash last holiday with my brother. She knew of his sickness and all he was going through and promised she would continually pray for him and for our family. I explained to her what the houseboat holiday was to be all about and she was saddened. Kuma hugged all of us and had tears in her eyes. I would have loved for her to join us with her daughter. She had never been to British Columbia or experienced a house boat. She would have had such a a great time. The only problem also was, my brother only wanted his immediate family surrounding him in his final days. When we left after dessert, Kuma and her daughter came out with us to the driveway hugging and kissing us goodbye. Kuma cried saying she was going to miss me. I found such sweetness in our friendship. I told her I was not leaving for two more weeks. I would see her tomorrow as a delivery was coming for the company I hires to start working on her balconies. They blew kisses and waved as we pulled out of the driveway and left. The following day, I had met up with her again to check the shipment that had arrived. She hugged me as though she hasn’t seen me in years! It was so strange but then again, there were many strange things with Kuma! I told her that I was going to buy the Camaro! After all the test drives we both took, I told her I was interested in the Camaro convertible, price reasons and it was just a nicer car. She was so excited! I think more excited than me! I told her I had found a black one just twenty minutes outside of Calgary and I was headed to the dealership to sign the papers. Kuma started to ask me questions about the loan and how it worked so I explained to her that we fill out a loan application and make payments on cars here. However long and however much your approved for. You pay interest on the loan and that’s It! She freaked out! It was the first time I had seen her that angry! She said “No! Don’t do loan! You have the money you buy It! No paying no interest! Like me, I buy my car no payment no extra money, why”? She went on to say ” I give you money, you go buy car, we go drive have fun”! She was adamant! We sat down at her kitchen table and she made sure I was not to get financing for that car. She told me ” I pay cash for my houses and cash for my cars, no loan for anything”! Then she ran upstairs and brought a large shoebox down with her. She opened it in front of me and said see? She must have had at least fifty credit cards in it with bills from her daughter’s and her schooling plus her house tax papers and more. The credit cards all had the sticker on the front of them still. Never used. She told me she hated owning anything that had interest along with it. She would never use a credit card or owe anyone anything that had interest attached to it. I had to calm her down and tell her that some people, such as myself, cannot afford to do stuff like that. We have mortgages and bill payments. She brought up the money that she had gifted to me earlier in the month saying to just use that! I explained to her that I had put it into the business! Kuma asked me if I had spent all of it already? I told her that I did not. It was sitting in the business and personal accounts. The more we talked, we were able to come up with a plan. I would get a money order from my account for fifty thousand even calling it a shareholders loan. I would pay the difference of fifty five hundred from my own money. Then, beginning in September, I would pay one thousand a month from my personal money back to the business to pay the loan back with no interest which was what Kuma demanded from the beginning to avoid high car loan interests. The very next day, I went to the bank, got a money order for fifty thousand dollars even. I went to the dealership, met with the finance department. Gave him the money order and put the additional cost on my personal credit card. They had the car all shined up for me ready to go. I drove straight to Kumas house first. We were both so excited! She was so happy for me and made sure I followed all her advise from the previous day. Just as I was entering her house, I got a call. Work needed me. They were having problems with a particular client. I told them I was on my way. We hugged goodbye and I left back to the office. Serena greated me as I parked to go up. She was stunned by my new car. For some reason I could truly sense jealousy. I could see it in her face. It was really none of her business why and how I got the car. She was still angry with me for not increasing her salary to eighty five thousand a year. No education? No one would pay their employee that without some kind of experience. Serena figured because we were cousin’s, I should just agree. Unbelievable. The changes I began to notice with Serena were becoming severe. I was too busy to address them. I paid twenty five thousand dollars for her schooling. That would have to come first. Then the huge salary increase. Serena was not happy. Some staff members seemed to follow her unhappiness. It was turning into a trend in the office. I was so busy dealing with my promises to Kuma to fix her homes while I temporarily had them in my name for her sisters arrival. I was all over the place all day. Hardly able to even spend time with my family. Plus, we were leaving on a holiday for one week for my brothers final wish. His health was deteriorating fast. Life was busy but I had not been on any kind of a vacation in over twenty years. Marcus and I never even had a honeymoon after we married. Not even our second wedding when we wanted to renew our vows in front of our entire list of family and friends. I was looking forward to a little quick break. We were to leave the next day. August 12, 2011.
My brother told us he was diagnosed with multiple myeloma. He had thought he had the flu. He had already been on dialysis because he only had one kidney from problems when he was younger. His kidneys were not functioning properly so dialysis was put into place with a pic in his chest. The dialysis took a toll from him always. He was completely unable to urinate. My brother had always lived a great life. He was not extremely wealthy but wealthy enough to own and enjoy the finer things in life. He owned his own company that produced oil tanks for storage. He owned a Viper and other fancy cars. He was big on collectables of great value including a Faberge` egg called the “Imperial Coronation” more of the most famous and iconic egg in the Faberge Family. It made an appearance in the movie “Oceans 11″. He also had many collections of gold and silver coins and bars. Our brother Rob was also the owner of expensive collectors items with Ducks Unlimited Paintings, football’s signed by pro athletes and clothing signed by famous people such as Dale Erinheart. He was also an extreme outdoorsman. He loved fishing and owned the newest and the latest equipment including bass boats for tournaments. Anything his heart wanted, he would own it or work very hard to own it including a beautiful property in which he lived in and another lakefront property an hour away from his home. Rob also lived to golf. It was his hobby. He would set up annual tournaments worth millions for golfers to join and play. All proceeds going to charity. When Rob first started dialysis years before, the meaning of charity took on a whole new vision for him. He became dedicated to helping others as much as he could. He would sit for hours during his dialysis sessions and watch people around him suffering from one thing or another. With each session, he would take the entire floor staff donuts and coffee. At one point he bought the entire floor a new washer and dryer including kitchen stuff for the staff and patients. All the proceeds of his golf tournaments would goto charities and he would never leave the little ones out including the seniors homes. Offering them whatever they needed to properly tend to all seniors. Our brother was the most dedicated, inspirational, funloving and most generous man anyone would ever get the chance to know. He was smart and never let anyone take advantage of him in any way. Rob was a diabetic. Getting his sugar under control you think would be easy but with dialysis and now cancer, it was more difficult. The other biggest problem he had was chemotherapy. There was only one chemo treatment they could use on him for his cancer. With his dialysis coming into play, he was unable to urinate any other chemo out so they could not use it to save him. His breathing was getting worse and the myeloma was taking over all the bones in his body. By this time, his then doctor told him he only had a month to live and began the process of putting him on palliative care. They said there was nothing more they could do for him. My mother actually lost it. My eldest sister, her husband and my mother went to visit him in Edmonton. He was staying at a hotel close to the hospital. While visiting, he seemed positive. His breathing a little heavy. They were going to try a few more chemo treatments because Rob put up such a stink. He refused to go onto palliative care. Around the early afternoon, Rob decided to take a little nap. He was very tired and worn out. While everyone visited in the main room, they noticed quite a few hours went by. My mother got concerned. His wife said to just leave him sleeping as he must have been very tired, so they did. Still deeply concerned, my mother and sister kept going in the room to check on him. He was sound asleep. His wife again, stopped anyone from waking him up. Finally my sister put her foot down angrily and said that this nap was way too long. She entered his room and places her hand on his forehead, whispering to him to wake up. He didn’t even flinch. Almost immediately she knew something was wrong. He was hot. Sweating all over. His forehead was so hot she began lightly slapping his face to wake up. No matter what their attempts, he didn’t move. They began to get more aggressive, nothing. My mother screamed and my sister ran to the phone to call 911. Within minutes, police and ambulance were there. They immediately jumped on his chest and assessed him with medical equipment working very fast and loud. It was determined he was slipping into a coma or already in one. He was rushed to the hospital and put on life support. My mother and sister were frantic. My sister knew it was her chance to hold her emotions because our mother was going to have a heart attack. She began beating her chest and pulling the hairs on her head out. She started yelling up to God in the hospital hallway just outside his door. ” Why are you taking him”??? “Why are you making me watch my son go first, before me”??? “You took my husband and now your taking my son, my child! Take me first! Take me before him. Take me, please take him, please don’t make me watch”!!!
With prompt medical attention, the medical team at the University hospital managed to get his vitals under control and within a few hours, he came to. He was extremely week but no longer in a coma. The medical team worked on him consistantly. He was never alone for a moment. My sister decided she would take the chance to get our mother away from the hospital and bring her back home. If anything was going to happen, especially with our mother there, we would lose both our mother and our brother. The doctors told my sister that it was their recommendation she go home for now. Not only was she approaching her eighties, she also had diabetes and a weak heart. Thankfully Robert’s vitals were improving. Slowly but improving. With great force, they got her into the car for a long drive back to Calgary. His wife would stay with him and report any and all changes to us. Once she arrived home, she began the hair pulling and beating her chest violently. It got so sever we had to threaten her to stop the yelling and all she was doing to herself or we would call am ambulance to pick her up. She refused to go but we threatened her even more. We just wanted her to calm down a bit. We explained that she was acting as though he WAS dead and he wasn’t. We had to yell at her and again tell her over and over that if he passed away, the reaction would be more appropriate but he was alive. He was on the mend, slowly, from a dangerous place he was just previously in. It was July and his doctor had only given him until the end of August 2011 to live. They had given him aggressive chemo treatments in the days following. His weakness was only bad after dialysis but he refused to lose the game. Rob always called his sickness “a game”. In my brothers history, he loved games. He was a very extreme competitive player and refused to lose. Now, his sickness was called a game to him. A game he refused to lose. The family ended up deciding to plan a vacation that would be a peaceful and quiet retreat of some kind that our brother would appreciate. A gathering with everything he loved all in one. Rob came up with idea as he began feeling better but the doctors words were still embedded in his mind. August. A family vacation many years ago on three houseboats was brought up in discussion. They talked about how much fun it was. The lake, the surroundings, fishing, cooking, docking at night and enjoying the night sky was what he wanted. He left it to me to do all the bookings and arrange everything. After getting the cost finalized including gas for the boat and groceries, I was to let four families know and we would split the cost four ways. Rob wanted to take care of the whole thing but we all refused. The cost would be split and we would all come together and enjoy each other while we could. The trip was not going to be fun. Watching him weak, sick and not able to eat properly would be the most difficult thing to see. He loved his food and the sun, so many outdoor things and could not enjoy any of them but as long as he was in his element, that was all he wanted. In case his doctors were correct, which we all refused to believe, this was what he wanted and needed from us and we would be there with him no matter what.
The devastation was unbelievable. After people had suffered the effects of the Tsunami, they had to deal with radiation. My Japanese client and friend has many friends back home that went missing. She had been unable to reach them by phone or by email. All our inquiries and my attempts to help her came up with nothing. She was saddened by this. I will call her Kuma. Having hated her only sister growing up, she told me she never wanted anything to so with her. Her sister was a terrible person. At one point, Kuma told me that she had wished harm on her sister and was afraid of the karma that would give her. She said that in Japan, when you wish I’ll on someone, it comes back to you. In one of her visits at the office she told me that she was suffering from a tumor behind her heart. She said the only reason she has the tumor was from her ill wishes upon her sister. She had refused to have surgery in Canada. Kuma told me she would only have the tumor taken out in Japan but was too afraid to go home. We went out for dinner together one evening, all I knew of Japanese food was Edo Japan in Canada and she told me that was terrible and not even close! She took me to a special restaurant that she said was pretty good. It was! We sat together chatting the entire evening away. Towards the end of our conversation, she asked me a favor. She told me that she trusted and knew no one on the world. Kumas daughter would be alone in the world if anything was to ever happen to her. She asked and entrusted in me to sign papers to be the guardian of her daughter. She wanted Marcus and I to take her daughter as one of our own if she died from her tumor. It was a heartfelt conversation and I was so honored to be asked such a thing. I told her of course! Almost immediately, she stood up from her side of the table and gave me a huge hug with tears in her eyes. I told her not to worry about anything. She would be just fine and have no problems raising her daughter. If I was needed, I would always be there for her. Each day, we became closer. Her stories would blow my mind of what she had to go through to escape her highly prestegious gangster boyfriend. A well known man throughout Japan that had done many bad things. She would travel from country to country looking for where to call home while trying to stash millions of dollars on her persons. She believed that banks would be able to trace her if her boyfriend asked. He had many connections. Kuma said she would stuff money in her babies carrier and in her luggage. Within her clothes while opening accounts all over the world in her daughters name. Kuma was very clever when it came to hiding cash until she managed to land in Canada. When in Canada, she told me she trusted the banks here and would open accounts with three or four of them. While keeping her over seas accounts as well. On another conversation eating dinner with my entire family, at Japanese Village, she told me she was having a problem with her sister calling her all the time. Her sister wanted to come visit her in Canada. She flipped! When I asked her what was so wrong, she said that she owned her rental property and her own home she lived in. If her sister knew about the homes she would manage to take them from her. That is what her sister always did best. When we left the restaurant, we drove her home and talked more. She said the home she lived in had no balconies and was built on a cliff. Her patio door was a drop way down. She then mentioned that she was scared from her rental property. Kuma had hired a property manager to manage her property for her. The property was so new that it had no landacaping. The renters had little kids and it was dangerous for them to play outside. No fence with dangerous edges and mud everywhere due to no grass. The property manager was so frustrated with her because of her English barrier. He refuses to work with her anymore. He demanded the property be fixed as he was sick of the renters complaints. Kuma didn’t know what to do. I told her I could help her in whatever way she wanted but kept running into road blocks because I was not the property owner and she had to always be there to give permission to me. When she attemted to fix the home issues and landscaping, she hired a japanese construction crew to first develop the basement. From the very beginning they charged her thirty thousand dollars for the job and demanded it be paid up front. So she did. Within the first week, the company hired managed to break the main homes foundation bar in the basement causing the upper bonus room ceiling to begin to crack. Kuma was terrified. If anything happened to anyone in that home, they could sue her as the landlord. Kuma then told me she had met a Korean man and his family whom were nice and friendly to her always. He owned a Dairy Queen and a construction company. He said he would help her with the balconies by building them for her. When he came over with his wife to see the house, Kuma told me she did not like the wife. She had a bad feeling about her. This woman would always look around with a jealous face and sometimes rolled her eyes at Kuma when she spoke. The husband was very sweet she said. Kuma told me she had something scary to tell me to go along with everything else bad that was happening to her now. Kuma told me that the Korean man she had only known for three weeks, asked her for money. He had asked her for a two hundred thousand dollar loan and she agreed!! No papers! He promised to pay it back within the year. That seemed crazy to me! I was shocked! I asked her how she could entrust someone like that so quickly to give them such a large sum of money? She told me she couldn’t say no. I was dumbfounded. First the thirty thousand dollar construction scam then a two hundred thousand dollar loan on a promise? She had given him a money order. It was already cashed. Kuma had come to the office the next day to invite myself and a few other staff over for dinner with our families. Myself and Lydia, the client liaison whom helped drive Kuma around accepted. By the Saturday night dinner invite, our son was sick and our daughter was addicted to a video game not wanting to leave. My husband decided to just stay home with them so I went alone. When I arrived at Kumas home, she informed me that Lydia had also canceled. She was having issues with her youngest daughter and couldn’t make it so she canceled via text just before I arrived. It was just to be myself and Kuma with her daughter for the evening. What was to happen that night and the following morning would change my life forever.
The fights between the staff members were getting worse. Some were great, some terrible. Many times, I felt like just firing the next person that walked through my door and complained about their salary. I had still not been able to pay myself anything. Borrowing from here and there was becoming more frequent. I was bringing in so much money I couldn’t understand why. Every time I talked to Serena about it, she would flash papers at me saying it is what it is. Serena began coming to me saying these people or those people did not take checks. Only cash or money order payments. When bills had to be paid by check she would fill it out, bring it to me to sign it and all was done. Serena had four staff members receiving their full salaried with nothing taken off for taxes. She had convinced me that out accountant told her to write them off as subcontractors and make them pay their own taxes. The staff were all for that! Slowly, I began to notice the staff members not really talking to me anymore. I would have the feeling that there was talking going on behind my back. Owen would soon find a way to get in on the action coming around very often. The society was so busy that I ended up offering him a piece of my Americanadian company. Selling off the skilled worker division so he could open a company and take that part over. I helped him think of the perfect name and talked him into hiring Serenas sister to run it for him. She was looking for work at the time and I was told she was a quick learner. I even ended up getting her the salary she wanted, to work in his new company. If someone had a problem, I was always great at fixing it. In my lifetime, I had become the master of fixing everyone’s problems. It seemed natural and there was always a simple solution that they themselves, never saw. I was always very able to make almost anyone’s problems, disappear. It’s funny, I still have the knack to do this today. Always able to fix anyone’s problems but my own.
I ended up selling a third of the shares to Owen. He wanted to be a part of everything including the society. In the contract, all I was willing to give up for the society was him being able to attend out meetings and provide input. He seemed happy with that when almost a year earlier, he had offered me two million for the presidency. He was always a little pushy but a smart businessman. Owen was an all around great person. When he went to Nova Scotia, he knew I loved lobster and brought a cooler full of them back for me. He attended our marketing events in the malls to gain the public’s awareness of who we are and what we did. Naturally, when it came to people finding jobs, we did not only cater to the foreign workers, we also catered to many Canadians looking for work as well. When an employer needed employees or good workers, they didn’t really care where they were from. They only cared that the job would get done properly and efficiently. Whatever the job was. For us, it was certainly easier to give them Canadians workers. No paperwork involved. We let everyone we could know that if they needed a job, to please come to us. The more applicants in our database with diverse talent and trades, the better. An employer could come to us and say they needed twenty landscapers immediately and we could fulfil their needs. We had some wrath from Canadians time to time thinking that we only catered to foreigners but were they ever wrong! Hiring Canadians just made sense. No hassle with government and papers what so ever. It was not only just about business. I was so talented at helping people and my companies did just that, all the time. A simple idea from so long ago would turn into such a success. I ended up meeting and working with a lady in Taiwan. She was so similar to me. Our hearts matched. She had quit a company she was working for because she couldn’t take the harassment they did to their clients. Gauging them for high end dollars with promises to work in Canada. She ended up flying to Canada to meet me with the high interest of opening up the same society in Taiwan. We hit it off. She was great! It would have been a pleasure to work with her. We both had the same care and compassion for people. I wish she lived in Canada. I would have made her a partner in a heart beat! Before she left back to Taiwan she agreed on a handshake that we would work together and start branching out this amazing society which would in turn begin to help people all over the world.
In all that time being in the new office, I had heard that the Japanese client I was told of in our old office was wanting to start the process of staying in Canada indefinitely. She was all alone with just her daughter. She had fled Japan after her father passed away. She had gotten pregnant by a gang member in Japan and he was high up in the list of this huge gang feared by all Japanese people. When her mother found out she was pregnant, she told her daughter to escape. She was one of two daughters. Her sister was always very mean to her and they were not close. Her sister was very money hungry and stole from her any chance she would get. She told me when they were little, her sister would steal money from her piggy bank and offer to take her out for icecream. Her sister ended up marrying a prince. A real prince! They lived in Paris. When their father died, they were given twenty million, each girl. Her sister left to Paris with her prince and my friend fled Japan touring different countries in hopes of finding a place to settle. The tour ended short. She was now about to have a baby and didn’t know where to go so she went to Paris. To her sister. The baby was born in Paris. A little girl. After the babies birth, she had a huge fight with her sister and the prince and ended up fleeing once again. Same travelled some more with a baby now in tow. She went to India searching for a place to live. While in India, she went to see a medium. They would tell her things no one would have known. This man told her to go to Canada. He even specified Calgary and not Edmonton. She would soon apply for a study permit to learn English as her entrance to Canada because her English was so bad. She never cared to learn it but if that was her ticket into Canada, she would have done anything. The medium also told her that devastation was coming to the world. The safest place she could be in the whole world was in Canada. Particularly Calgary, Alberta. After much more travelling, she landed in Canada when her daughter was eight years old. A study permit was also issued for her daughter so she could attend school. When she landed in Canada, she met a man who was an immigration lawyer. He helped her to settle and do all the paperwork for her. They would soon fall in love with each other. Only when their relationship got intimate, did she learn that he was an abuser. He loved to hit women. He truly had no respect for a woman and treated them like walking meat. He even abused her in front of her daughter threatening her that if she didn’t listen, she would be next.
When this woman came to our office, I did not know any of this. My associate came to me and asked me if I remembered her and confirming that the Humanitarian and Compassionate package was the best one for her. After running it through our lawyer, that was all agreed upon and the process began. My associate gave her a to do list, to gather all the proper documentation for the appication including passport photos for her and her daughter. After about a week of her process she was introduced to me in my office. We sat for a few hours chatting about her life and she would do nothing but thank me and tell me how much she admired and loved the association. She told me about a huge Tsunami that had hit Tokyo Japan recently and the air was all full of radiation. She had friends there and was so worried about them. They were not returning any of her emails. She would soon start to come by almost everyday, bring me snacks and cinommon rolls. We had much in common. Our both daughters were the same age and had the same name! We had both gone through abuse. Different types of abuse but still, abuse is abuse period! I had never really told her too much about my story. In time, we would become great friends. Talking always, I would just tell her bits and pieces. She would tell me at one point, that she cursed her sister. She was always so angry with her! The only blood she had was so evil, her both parents had now passed away, she would tell me. She would also get the courage to finally break it off with her immigration lawyer lover. We would meet plenty of times for dinners and lunches. Our daughters would play together and have sleep overs. We became great friends. While visiting one of our staff one day, she again was admiring the business and wanted to be a part of it. My staff member told her that she could buy shares. To talk to me about it. The following morning, my staff member told me she was on her way to discuss shares with me. It was at the same time I had the people from Taiwan in my office learning about our society as they were wanting to open one in Taiwan. She came with some pop and a huge box of cinommon rolls for me. Everyone got to meet everyone! We chatted about the Taiwan office and now about my Japanese friend wanting to open up an office in Japan. Three offices to be exact, she said! Everyone was excited about this new venture coming up. We immediately went online and started reaching out to the Japanese consulate for further information about rules and regulations in Japan.
We chatted, all of us for the rest of the afternoon. We were all ready to start this new chapter!
Blogging my life story for a book has been so difficult. Bringing up so many things I have worked so hard trying to keep down and hidden. Especially at the point in my life now and the present tense I am in. I look around me. My life in complete shambles. I still try to understand why I am here. In the last few months, I have been so depressed and suicidal. The events happening in my life at this present time are unbearable and uncontrollable. So many loved ones around me. So many things I would think would be important to live for but my brain erases it quickly. I truly forgot what it was like to be happy. Even for just one day. Actually just for an hour. I see so much beauty around me. My heart feels the beauty but my soul just wants to cry. I am a tough girl that holds it in really well. No one really knows how I feel inside. My husband, my kids, my family and extended family. Even my best friends. I have gone through so many things in my life as I have blogged so far, and just when things seem to look up, a major devastation happens to put me under again. Never had bad things or kind of bad things like usual people experience, it’s always huge mega devestation. Over and over again. This time, I feel weak. I don’t think I am able to handle what is happening now or soon to come up. A human being can only take so much and then when they reach there threshold, they give up. I’ve never been a quitter. I have come a long way. This time however, it is unsolvable. To explain it better, it now feels like some little demon is cutting away at my actual heart, piece by piece. I can actually feel it! I get a strong pinch and then it goes away. At least ten to twelve times a day. This devastation can’t be solved with money, it’s not a disease or sickness, it’s not war and it has nothing to do with death. When I get to that part of my story, it will be the hardest part to write. With all I have written and been through so far with even more devastation coming up right now, in my story, this today, by far, has been the worst. As people call it, the cherry on the cake. I am not caring who reads this, who doesn’t, I just need people to finally know what happened in my life. The truth. The end all. I cried so hard last night, only in the middle of the night when everyone is finally asleep. I had to document this moment before I go on. I have company over so I have to go..
Now I can continue when I have a moment.