No One Ever…Is To Blame…but me.

All our family and friends, relatives began lecturing me about the shows failure. Telling me I shouldn’t have started something like this. I did not understand what I was doing and this event was too large for me to handle. Without the proper education I was apparently unable to pull this off. No matter what I said regarding my father and how it was all his fault, it seemed no one really believed me. It was so frustrating to keep hearing these comments over and over again. Naturally, only my brother in law and sister understood the hard work and dedication that went into the show. Even today, every now and then, it is thrown in my face that I had messed up and put the family through hell with financial struggles. Whom ever says things like this to me I know for a fact, are stupid.  I hate it when people assume answers to their questions. Funnier, if I’m telling you the reason and you don’t believe me, quit lecturing me about it. I’m really not going to listen to what you have to say. I do however know that it would have been the best show in the world. The people who worked along side me knew that. Dave quit his life in Kelowna because he knew this event would be big and I was determined to complete it. I began working on the show in Calgary regardless of peoples opinions. They had no idea how to piece something of this magnitude together.  I felt the need to change a few songs by writing some new ones that inspired me to get through this drama and ordeal. The classical music coming out of me truly surprised me. The orchestra I had created on my keyboard was amazing. Twenty four tracks with twenty four instruments. I sat back, pushed play and let all the tracks run together. The beautiful music brought tears to my eyes. I was very impressed by my work. Where were these tunes coming from in my head. I began working through a lot of backlash from certain sponsors that knew about our sponsorship proposals. When they came up with excuses I knew the real truth. It was likely going to happen. It was too bad because they once loved and appreciated me and what I was doing. Blame got so severe that it seemed like everything I was doing was being questioned. Moving back home, everyone seeing the hustle and hard work to start all over again. I kept getting silly questions and had to explain my every move. This slowed me down tremendously. I needed to stay focused but it was becoming impossible. The only good thing was my father was leaving me alone. I did not know where he was relieving his sick fantasy’s and I didn’t really care. I was stuck living with him once again. Always in my face. He was always to blame. Blame for everything. I knew I had every right to hate his guts. I sometimes wondered if I did away with him, jail would probably be nicer. My mind continued to race with terrible thoughts. They would always pop into my head. Sometimes making me laugh at how clever they were. 

A few weeks past and work was slow. I decided to start going to a gym to help me shed some weight. It seemed as though my weight was my protection. He didn’t like chubby girls. The sexual episodes were far and in between. Maybe the next time he touched me, I would cut his manhood or rip it off with all my might and power. Problem solved. Maybe I could squeeze his testicles so hard they would end up in his throat. What a satisfying vision. Then he would leave all us sisters alone.

We lived in my sister’s house and I lived in their nanny suite. It was like my own little place. My studio set up to one side, my own bathroom and little kitchen. I slept on a couch that opened to a bed. During the day it was my studio and office. By night, it was my bedroom. A few more steps down the stairs was the basement and another bedroom. That is where Dave stayed. It was a four level split home with an inground pool.  It fit us all, a little squishy but we all had a comfortable place to sleep. I felt spoiled having my own “quarters”. My nightly trips to the gym helped clear my head. I had to lose at least 80 lbs. I was getting close to the 200’s. Dave had left to Ottawa to visit his mom and sisters. I missed him so much. He was such a character and always new how to make me laugh. After dinner one evening, I went down to my studio to gather my gym clothes. I was going to go do a work out before going to bed. As I was gathering my things I heard someone in my bathroom. The seam of the door had a crack in it allowing you to see a little bit and if you pushed on the door, the seam would open a little bit more. I noticed my middle sister sitting on the toilet with the lid down. She had a cigarette in her hand and was burning the cigarette into her skin on her arms. Holding it there while it burned a hole then moving to another spot on her arm and doing it again and then again. When it started to bleed she wiped it up and continued. I didn’t say anything. I was shocked, hurt, freaked out and then? Overwhelming sadness hit. I knew what was going on. He had been taking out all his fantasy’s on her. That’s why we were being left alone for the time being. She was not telling any of us. After seeing that kind of self torture, I went crazy. I started to pack more things. It felt like my mind had snapped in half. All of a sudden, nothing was important anymore. I took my bag and left through the back door of my room. I started driving towards the gym and for some reason I just kept driving. Next thing I know, I’m on the highway leaving the city and I didn’t care. I never wanted to come back.

What Planet Did You Come From?

Please tell me how someone so stupid, so disgusting, so ugly, so crazy and so paranoid can survive in our world? Yet still pray and believe they are a child of God. I believe the devil has children too. My father was one of them. I would bet my life on it if I could prove it, but I can’t. 

The next morning when I was called over for a chat. I sat down to try to understand why my father did what he did. His reasoning, and please get ready for this, was that we could not afford it. Yes, that’s right. He said there was no way he was going to pay for it. He said he knew about the show and thought it was just going to be a little concert and that the newspaper article scared him. He was scared into thinking it would all fall onto his pocket book. He went on to add that he did not want me with all these men and only God knows what I was doing with them. I should have been a smart arse and said yes, I was sleeping with all of them! Everyday! 

I wanted to punch him in the face so bad but I kept my cool. When my family heard about what happened, everyone was worried for me. My brother in law was so angry. Everyone was. After explaining to my so called father that the event was being fully sponsored and explaining how it was to happen he suddenly was happy and agreed to the event taking place. He said he didn’t know. He just kept saying that. Really?? You couldn’t ask me before you went on your rampage?

I was afraid for Monday to come. I couldn’t sleep thinking about how I was going to fix this huge problem. Apparently he had scared the media so much that they retracted all their support almost immediately. They didn’t even want to talk to me. We had already used our money to secure the businesses working with us to produce the show. 

The sponsors almost instantly began dropping their bids and ignored our calls. Thought out the week it was one disaster after another. I didn’t sleep much at all during the week. I called and canceled the insurance. My security left me almost instantly scrambling to find other jobs. Not Dave. He stood beside me through the whole thing amazed at the chaos and dumbfounded by all the struggles he watched me go through. I lit a white candle by myself in my room one night. I quietly spoke to God again asking him why everything I do good that makes me happy, has to be taken away from me?  What was my punishment this time? I asked him to please help me think of what to do. 

A few days went by and I was driving home from spending some alone time at the venue where our event was going to take place. Reflecting on what could have been. Suddenly, I came up with an idea. Something told me to take this concert back to my home town in Calgary and have it there. All the sponsors we had were based out of western Canada. From Kelowna and Vancouver.  What if I took the event to Calgary and found new sponsors? Calgary was a big city. Alberta was known as the richest Canadian province. I could also work with some head offices out of Toronto. I still had all my sponsorship packages ready to go! I ran the idea by my sister and brother in law. It was a done deal! I was going to attempt to make this happen! I quickly began gathering all our things and packing as fast as I could.  I wanted to leave right away. Time was ticking. It was March and I only had until August. Tour busses were even booked out of Toronto for guests wanting to come see the show through other sponsors I already had lined up. I was vigorously on the phone making call after call. I had to start redirecting everything to Calgary. Start all over again but this time, with plenty of experience. I only had a few months to gather two and a half million dollars, organise the venue, find new staff, new musicians, new body guards and new sponsors. I was not able to make payroll to my security guard’s I once had. They were demanding their paychecks and I didn’t have it. My father ruined me. After speaking to my brother, it was decided that my father would have to sell his boat. Paybacks a b*#&% Hey? His boat was sold and the damage in the city he caused was paid for including our move back to Calgary. I was truly going to miss this city. I loved it here. The peace and tranquility was so nice not like a busy rumbling city. The show going on was more important to me right now. I didn’t want to let anyone down as I had always been let down all my life.  The move was on. By the end of March I was back home but this time, living with my sister’s family because we had no home left. I also had Dave in tow. He left his girlfriend and believed in me so much he decided to come stay with us and help me pull this off. Who was I to argue? *giggle*

What The F#*%?

Coming home after a wonderful weekend was so satisfying. I felt rejuvenated and ready to work. While my album cover was processing and focused on the show. I had a bunch of meetings set with the airport, fire marshals, RCMP, city council and the native Indians that owned the land where we wanted to set up our stage. It was a huge field over looking a beautiful lake surrounded by mountains. We had to get approvals for so many things first. If fireworks were being shot off, could they spark a flame causing a fire? With laser shooting up into the sky as far as the eye could see, would it interfere with air traffic controls? Was there a possibility of a riot having such a large crowd of people in one area? Would the hotels across the lake be affected from the noise? An amazing amount of work would have to go into having all this approved before we had a green light to go ahead. Excitement was mounting. Residents were patiently waiting with excitement that it was happening in their city. It’s not everyday that you get to witness a worlds largest event and not have to pay anything to see it. Within a week and wearing out my security guard’s feet from the amount of walking we had to do, I had all the licenses approved. Only niggle was only being allowed to shoot fireworks over the lake. We intended to only do that anyways! All was coming together so nicely. The week following the coming weekend was to be the week of collecting the sponsorship money promised from our clients. We were approaching March. On the Friday before the weekend my father arrived. He was staying with us for a week before returned home once again. My family had known about the show. They were even involved. That same Friday, I received a phone call from my old place of work at the studio. They told me that the local newspaper, radio and television stations wanted to come interview me about the show! I was so excited. I agreed to see them later that day. During the interview, my eyes started to get sore from all the flashes of pictures. The security jumped in every now and then for giggles. It was always explained why they were with me, when asked. It didn’t have to be secretive. The media was ecstatic over the show coming to town on August 13, 1993. After the long interview I met with some local musicians and interviewed them on their skills to join me on stage for times I would just do vocals. The band would play along with me. The interviews of that evening turned up a drummer and a bassist. I needed another keyboardist and a guitarist. I also needed a few backup singers. I had time. I was not worried. I finally got home, said hello to my father, goodnight to my sister and went to bed. I was exhausted. 

I was so tired I didn’t wake up until one in the afternoon. I had really slept in. My sister, a hairdresser, had gone to work for the day. I walked into the family room and said goodmorning to my father who was red faced.  He looked so angry. He yelled, “come sit down, I want to talk to you right now”! My fear was the same as when I was little. I felt paralyzed. Needing my coffee, I just went and sat down curious to see what his problem was now. He took a newspaper from the coffee table and threw it at me. He was furious. His temper was so bad and so scary. He would scare even the toughest guys I knew. He was also very violent when he got angry. On the cover of the newspaper was my picture wearing a pair of shades and pulling them down slightly seeing my eyes with keyboards behind me. It was a cool picture! I remember loving my hair. My curls were perfect! It was a great picture. The headline said “Laser Lady About To Wow Our City, Brace Yourself”!! 

It took the entire page with my picture and the write up underneath informing residents of the laser extravaganza that was coming soon. It went on to tell them a bit of musical experience about me and my talents and achievements. I was impressed! 

Why was my father so angry. He went on to tell me that he saw the paper in the morning and called the reporter telling him that this show was NOT going to happen. He would not allow his daughter to do something like this. He will cause a war and a huge scene if it happened. He then went on to tell me that he drove to the newspaper and met him personally, losing his temper at him and demanded he take the published paper and tell people he was not allowing me to do this. He threatened him to contact anyone else that may be advertising this show and put a stop to it. 

I listened to this asshole talk. My heart sank with every word. While he spoke, I looked at his nose, his ugly face, the red color it was and wondered wtf? The scared, nervous, anxious silent feeling was overwhelming. When he was done yelling, I stood up and went to a room, closed the door, locked it and layed down. I was speechless, paralyzed, scared as to what was going to happen now.  What damage had he done? Why did he do that without talking to me first? He knew all about the show so why would he do that? I had so many questions and wanted to beat the crap out of him while I asked them. I needed to calm down first. I needed to take it all in and try to make sense of it. My heart was beating out of my chest in anger. So angry, I was not sure if I could control it or not. My brain went blank and I was scared of myself. My heart area pinched and I couldn’t stop sweating. My left side was tingling.

I watched the sun go down from my window. My father knocked on the door in the evening telling me my sister was home and it was time for dinner in a loving voice. Really? You S.O.B.

Really?

Is This Called Love?

I had to leave my job at the music studio.  It was not possible to juggle the show and teach at the same time. I had been teaching for 5 years straight. I needed to take a break. My students were so distraught. They didn’t want me to leave. I felt so bad. Some of them had grown so close to me. I was not just a teacher but you could also say I was a therapist as well. My students would come to me with so many problems. Either bullying or parental issues. It didn’t matter. They opened up about whatever was bothering them and I helped as much as I could. I knew I always had great advise to give. Some students begged to follow me and to continue teaching them at home. I accepted and taught them whenever I could. I had three blind students and no one else could teach them the way I could. I developed a way to teach any kind of student. From the age of 5 to 95. I could teach them how to play the piano professionally within three months. I taught them blindfolded so they were forced to train their ear. Inspired by my Russian teacher when I was younger. I loved her. She moved to Montreal for her famous husband who had to go. We still keep in touch today. 

I began getting close to one of my security who was always so overwhelmingly concerned about me. He had a girlfriend but she was not very good to him. When we worked together, he would talk to me and tell me many stories. My heart started to grow for him. His name was Dave. He was built tough, blonde spiky hair and a square defined jaw. He was so good looking and had a French accent. When ever I was out with him, he made heads turn. He was such a gentleman to an extreme and spoiled me when we were out. He started asking for more shifts with me and we truly had a good time. I would think of things to do that were unnecessary but as long as I could spend time with him. I was happy. I found myself creating music and writing lyrics of our relationship.  He became the inspiration to some of my songs. After completing my first album, I asked him if he would like to be on the cover of it. He was so excited and agreed. Together alone, we decided to take a trip to Victoria. Vancouver Island. We were to meet up with a photographer there that would work with us to get some good shots for the cover album. Our trip was 3 days long. It was actually nice to not have security hounding me all day and night. Technically, I was with security so all was fine. We spent the first day all over Victoria taking all kinds of pictures. It is a beautiful city surrounded by ocean. Our last stop of the day was at an abandoned railway site. It had numerous tracks everywhere and then this lone track next to a shed looking type building. The shed had nothing on it except a sign that said “No Smoking”. It looked so perfect. We had him leaned up on it with one leg crossed over the other, looking into the sun with a cigarette in his hand. It was cliche. The contradicted sign with the cigarette and his sexy looks. The shot was perfect. We loved it. That was the one I wanted to use. The album was called “On Heavens Edge”. With special effects, it looked like Dave was standing at the gates of heaven with pathways and railways all around him into a distance that goes as far as the eye can see having his last cigarette before entering. It was a classic shot. 

Dave and I stayed at a beautiful hotel called the Empress. Covered by moss and overlooking a large marina and the ocean. Our room was just as beautiful. One king sized bed. We didn’t even really care. We just wanted to change and get ready to go out on the town. We were starving so we went to a restaurant on the dock. A long dock that seemed to go forever. We got to catch our own lobster and crab. They would cook it however we wanted them to. After a beautiful dinner, we went to a nightclub. He never let go of my hand. My heart skipped beats for him. I was falling head over heals. We went to a great bar that played all our favorite songs. We danced and drank the night away. He loved tequila so I had the waitress bring shots every 20 minutes. The last song of the night was “Your Eyes” by Peter Gabriel . We slow danced together and I waited for a kiss. I knew it was coming. We took a cab and went back to our hotel. While he was in the bathroom I remember trying to get my hair and makeup touched up rather quickly! I had to have that “Wow you look good even when you should look like a mess” look. When he came out we started play fighting. He liked to tease me with how strong his muscles were. He was extremely muscular. We play fought right to the bed. I ended up getting on top of him and holding him down. That didn’t last long. His strength was amazing. He had me flipped in no time. His kiss was beautiful. I was covered in goose bumps. I had just shaved my legs that day and the goosebumps made them stubble again! It was intense. 

My father’s face kept playing in my head. I pulled back from Dave and I tried to hide how scared I had just become. I was so happy! Why was this happening so suddenly? He was such a gentleman. He could see my face and know for whatever reason HE thought, that I was not ready for sexual intimacy. I layed in his arms and fell right asleep having some of the worst dreams ever. Yet every time I woke up and was in his arms, I fell right back asleep. It sure was a nice feeling. His embrace was large and warming and overpowering and I felt so safe. I don’t know if I will ever forget that feeling. I hope not.

Security? Oh La La!

My brother In law flew to California to meet with our laser company. It was October and everything was on schedule. They turned out to be an amazing laser company that was able to not only do everything necessary for this extravaganza but they would be willing to work with me to create lasers that holographically would do what I wanted. What MY vision was. I wanted to make it rain lasers drops. Using mirrors on buildings and mountains to bounce off of. I wanted to design lasers that were playable by hand on stage. For our sponsors for example, if Coke was going to sign, I wanted to be able to have lasers in the sky showing cartoon like images of a hand opening a bottle of coke and pouring it into a glass then have it being drunk by a character quenching their thirst. I wanted an eagle with an 18 foot wing span to fly across the crowd into the sky and over the event. I wanted many things and they were able to pull it all off for me! They appreciated my creativity. The owner of the company offered me a creative position as a job. He was fascinated with my ideas. He knew I would never accept his offer. The firework company was next. We found a great one in Vancouver. They seemed to have the best track record and unbelievable event experience. The more experienced our venue staff were, the better. Things just went more smoothly when everyone just knew what they were doing. Last on my checklist before we were to begin signing sponsorship contracts was insurance. They needed insurance for many reasons but the main one was to ensure that during the event, if anyone got injured for any reason, we would be insured. The meeting lasted three hours. I never knew how meticulous the process would be. The rules were somewhat difficult to follow. So many things to remember. The paperwork ended in an 80 page contract. The magnitude of a multi million dollar show needed to be insured for not only the safety of the staff and the public but also for the sponsors and myself. I played a key role in the event not only creating it but organising it where the entire album of music I created for the show would align with the visual effects, the lasers and fireworks. With each key I hit on certain keyboards, it would trigger a laser or a firework to go off formulated to the song. I would run the entire show from the stage and from my fingers. All the extra stuff would be set off by the professionals on site and off stage. I was the only one capable of performing on the stage on that very day. If I was to become ill or unable to perform for any reason, no one could take my place. The event would not happen and the monies paid thus far from sponsors would be gone. Many vendors new there were no refunds as part of their working contracts. It was a little scary knowing if anything happened to me, the entire show would fall and be cancelled with sponsors losing there money. The insurance company put a clause on me. They told me the only way they would accept the insurance plan was if I was insured as well. This would help the sponsors putting up big amounts of money, knowing they were insured as well incase the event did not happen because of me or the weather. The show could go on even if it rained, only severe winds would be detrimental. I was to have body guards with me 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. The insurance would be less expensive if it was on my dime for the security. They would compensate me only 20% of what I paid to them. I had to agree to this if the show was to go on. Of course I would. I began advertising for personal security guards. It had to all be in place at least eight months prior to the event. I began getting calls and more calls…then before I new it I had to interview over 100 applicants. I do have to say as a gal at the age of nineteen, it was pretty fun! Wow they were cute. Some a little more cuter than others. If course, if they were around me all the time, they would have to be as cute as ever according to me. Muscular, cute and caring were important but also their personalities were to somewhat match mine. Extremely outgoing and know how to have fun yet being professional and serious if they needed to be. I narrowed my numbers down to 8. It was tough as so many were perfect for the job but 8 would be just right. Two at a time split into three shifts with a standby shift. Beginning January, this security team would be in place and ready to go. It was weird having them go wherever I went. It sure did attract attention. People thought I was important but I really wasn’t. All my security were in their own relationships but being out in public, seen with two intimidating men all the time made my love life non existant. If I was to go to a night club, four security were mandatory. They did make sure I had fun as no one would really come up to me and ask me to dance. Dancing with me or just chatting up some pretty hilarious conversations. When we finished certain appointments I had to attend, we always went out and had fun lunches and dinners afterwards. They became my close friends. They did a great job always making sure I was ok. Happy. Content. Deep down I new a lot of the kindness was only because they were getting paid yet for a few, they really appreciated my friendship. It was nice looking at beautiful men all day whether they were taken or not. This made my job a little nicer. <insert wink>

Let The War Begin!

One intriguing special to the sponsorship packages was whomever signed on would be exclusive. That would mean if we had a soda company, or a beauty product company and so forth, no other company in their marketing field would be accepted. This began to cause bidding wars. We had so much interest from some big named companies for sponsorship. Realistically, it was a great form of advertising for them. The media was going crazy with my event which excited the sponsors as well. Wherever our name was, there’s would be with it. That was huge for them. I discovered how marketing worked by starting from scratch and building this business. It was hard work and you always have to be on the ball in this business but I loved it! I had not collected any sponsorship money yet but had many clients finalizing the contracts and committing to the event. Within 4 months, in had raised  $800,000 in sponsor commitments. More interest was coming in almost daily. I was still teaching at the music studio all day. If I had more time, I would have been able to hit my mark much sooner than that. Eventually the day was going to come where I would get back to Michael and turn his offer down. I really had high dreams for these shows that were about to happen. This company I was building would be unique. I would eventually become famous on my own with no one placing rules on me of what was allowed, how much work, effort or time that was expected of me, basically telling me what I was to do. I wanted to handle my own life the way I wanted for a change. It was enough I was still under my parents wings and no matter how old you are in our family, our strict parents still told us what we could and could not do. They would also never let me move to California which is what the contract Michael gave me demanded to go. In the back of my heart, I also would never leave my sister’s or help protect them from the devil of my father. I couldn’t do that to them. When he was with us, he behaved himself a little more. The only reason for that was his love for fishing. Living in a resort city surrounded by lakes, he always kept busy. He would leave at the wee hours of the morning and head for the marina where his big boat was waiting for him. He would come back in the evening with nothing or sometimes a few fish. He was gone all day which is all we wanted. Every now and then on weekends, I would get in the car and make the trip home to see the rest of the family. It was always the most beautiful drive. Mountains, trees, waterfalls, rivers, wild animals such as bears, goats, cougars, cariboo galore. A beautiful road with a beautiful scenery was always calming and so nurturing to the soul. I got to visit mainly with my mother and older sisters. The eldest sisters family as well as my cute nieces and nephew. Those kids where my life! I truly loved them a lot. My brother also had two kids but they lived so far away it was hard to stay close. I was also pretty close in age with them being the youngest sibling, I became an auntie very young. We were only a few years apart. There was 16 years between myself and my brother. The only time we got to be together with the kids was over the summer holidays. That was pretty much it. Then turning 18 and leaving to a different city, it was hard to see them at all. I was home for a few days before leaving back to Kelowna. Moms cooking was always best. I learned so much from her but just never had time to actually cook. While visiting my family, my mother had an important paper that needed to be faxed. Those days, you would place the paper into the fax machine and watch it go down and come out the bottom end. Apparently this paper that my mother needed faxed was super important. I took the medical paper and went down to fax it. When i was done I brought the paper upstairs and put it back on the table. The following day, my mother started yelling and was so upset. I could hear her upstairs getting very angry. I came up half asleep and asked her what was wrong? I had no idea that what she was about to tell me was going to give me the laugh of my life. Until today, I still smile and laugh when I remember. My mother explained to me what her anger issue was. She asked me why the paper was still here, shaking it in front of my face. She went on to explain to me how important this paper was that was to be faxed yesterday and why it was still sitting on the table? My mother thought that when a paper is faxed and is placed into the machine, it slowly goes downwards and miraculously shriveles itself up and shoots itself through the telephone wires until it arrives at it’s destination. Yes, my mother was still in the olden golden ages and did not understand technology whatsoever. I had to explain to her the fax situation and that it comes out of the bottom like so. I had to explain that the machine simply copies like a photocopy sending the message in print form at its destination. I have still continued to bug her about that story today. It sure was funny.

Finally Something Positive!

I decided to begin marketing the laser event. I needed to raise 2.5 million dollars over one year. Impossible? Not at all. I knew what I wanted, needed and how to get it. Creativity was my forte`. I named the event “Fantasy ’93”. I began doing up the sponsorship portfolio explaining what investors and businesses would get to sponsor and advertise with us. My corporation was set up and we were ready for business. The sponsor package was amazing. Unbelievable. I was super impressed by it. Our largest sponsorship price was $500,000 to have the companies name and a holographic commerical in laser lights in the sky as well as a banner on the stage. They would be exclusive and also be able to sell their product at the event. The smallest package was $1000.00 for a corporate name mention in radio and newspaper media. This show was to be free to the public. There was no way of charging tickets to such an event because all you had to do was look up. The entire sky would be filled with lasers and fireworks. Millions of people would be able to watch the show. Not only was I responsible for attaining the staff and companies we needed to put on the event such as the firework company, laser company, staging companies and so on… I was also responsible to gather the sponsorship money to pay for it all. My brother in law was able to help as much as he could and he did assist me in marketing but was not very experienced. He was a geophysicist and an accountant. Things were going great. I was getting a lot of attention from big time sponsors. My timing must have been perfect within the season of when companies allot the percentages of monies paid for sponsorships and charities. Just before their new year cycle. I was able to market the show smoothly. I learned much along the way from so many excited businesses hoping to see this show become very successful. My goal was to have Fantasy ’93 a first annual. Then Fantasy ’94 and so on so people would get use to the name and the event. I wanted the whole world to know about it! I sure was heading in the right direction. The excitement from people was terrific. I purchased my first computer for the event and I was so impressed at how much easier everything was with a computer. I had set up my first email and found business to be so much easier so I purchased two computers.  One morning, I woke up to a fax coming through. It took a while with the machine singing and beeping, as slow as they were those days. Prior to beginning the show business I was still persistent in reaching the band Chicago but six months into getting busy with the show, I forgot all about it. The fax was from the manager of the record label the band was with. The letter stated that they were very interested in meeting me. They told me they also managed other artists such as Lionel Ritchie and Madonna.  They told me they were very impressed with my demo and wanted to meet me. To please contact them at my earliest convenience.  My heart started racing and I remember feeling elevator drops of excitment. How could I do that? My parents would never let me. I really didn’t care what my parents thought and Jessica still worked for me. She still aided me in lying to my parents so I could get away and do whatever I want or needed to do, for me! Why were things finally going right for me? Strange but I’ll take It! I sure did need it. I remember going to bed that night after speaking to them and thinking ” wow, I have been lying about this my entire senior year until today and now it is actually happening for real”! What luck is that! I had arranged to meet with an associate in the far western side of Canada. They flew to come see me. With other business in tow, the closest they could get to me was about a 4 hour drive away. No problem! I wanted to see what this was all about. Thanks to Jessica, I was able to get away for 3 days. I met with Michael at a posh studio in Vancouver.  We hit it off quite well. He sure wined and dined me and we landed at the most beautiful studio I had ever seen. Everyone there knew Michael. He was like a local celebrity but he wasn’t local. I was asked to play some songs for him that he requested. Then he asked me to sing and harmonize with other vocalists. I had so much fun! Apparently I did a great job. The enthusiasm and excitement from the staff and Michael was so great. They loved my music, my style and my personality was what I was told. We jammed again the next night and stayed up until 5am. It was great. I informed them all of the annual show I was involved in and creating. They were amazed and happy for me. The last morning before we parted, Michael told me he was going to put a little package together for me and let me think about it. He really wanted to work with me. For some reason, I was not as excited as he was. On the contrary, I was excited about my show. If things weren’t taking off as well as they were it would he different. I arrived home to a message from Coca Cola and a message from Pepsi fighting over sponsor rights and packages. It was to turn into a bidding war and I was shocked. All this excitement was getting to my blood pressure. It was pounding out of my chest. God was finally opening some doors for me. He was allowing me to experience life by cutting my father’s fingers off firstly, and now all this. My faith was slowly coming back.