Dealing with bills and payments wasn’t as fun as I thought it would be. I always had a different look to how simple it should be. Declaring bankruptcy put a little dent in our future but it sure helped from nasty creditor calls. I never really blamed the creditors as those payments truly were owed to them. We were never one to go back on a commitment or our word. Life circumstances tend to somehow throw wrenches in normality causing mini hurricanes. Life has rewards, I’ve learned, but also sacrifices and sorrows. I lived by the motto “live for the day”. That’s what we did. Every time we would make a plan, it would change. They would change so fast! Regardless of how dedicated we were to follow through, it would change. Sometimes for the better but sometimes for the worse. Our first Christmas together was going to be fun. Our Christmases were always huge and fun. Lots of traditions with making sure we had the most beautiful tree. The largest with some of the most beautiful decorations. Presents everywhere. So much food, family and friends. A turkey feast Christmas eve and a glorious massive morning breakfast Christmas morning. We all got to open presents Christmas eve and some more special ones Christmas morning. We would have such a nice lazy day all Christmas day then on boxing day, run around shopping the deals and returning items that didn’t work or fit properly. Our New Years Celebration was also huge. Either a massive party in our house, a hall rental or buying tickets to an event. Whatever everyone was in the mood for. We would also just leave the city all together to visit and stay with my brother in Lloydminster. He was such an amazing cook. One of his many talents. My brother was my eldest sibling. He was involved in the oil industry. Rob supplied tanks for oil storage. Designing, building and welding them together. He would eventually own his own business making him a comfortably wealthy man. My brother had 2 children. A boy and a girl. Now in their 20s they would both get married and have children of their own. I had already been a great auntie 3 times. My brothers wife was a very different type of woman. It seemed as though she was loving and caring but any time we were around her, she would make us work so hard. She owned a party store. Event planning and such. My first Christmas with Marcus in Lloydminster was mostly spent in her store doing inventory or building wedding pillars. When you only get a few resting days away, the last thing you want to do is work harder. We were only there for 7 days and 4 of them were spent working in the store. By the time we got back, we were exhausted. Wasn’t much of a holiday but for our brother, we would have done anything. I don’t think he realized how hard she worked us. They would argue as a couple often. It was very noticeable that love did not exsist between them. They had been married 20 years. We had a feeling that the his wife had a gambling problem. Every spare moment she had was spent on a vlt machine. We would never talk about it with him. We didn’t want to sound like we were prying into his business. If he wanted to talk about it with us, he could.
The months after Christmas that year were definitely the months of patience. Marcus was going crazy not being able to work. You can only sit around the house doing nothing for so long. I decided to quit teaching for a while. I ended up taking a job as a courier. It felt so weird having a normal job with a boss but the good thing? Marcus could be with me and working all day to help me. We just had to deliver packages through out the city all day. From seven in the morning until seven at night. We would pack lunches and it would be like a little mini outing all day. Just Marcus and me. Alone everyday all day. We had such a great opportunity to talk and chat about life. At the end of April I ended up getting sick. The flu hit me really hard. I never get that sick. Marcus tried his best to tend to me. It wasn’t until I got antibiotics did I finally start getting better. I finally reached the end of that terrible flu and only needed a little cough syrup to contend with the days. That weekend Marcus and I decided to go stay at a hotel in downtown Calgary just to have some night time alone. Wow did we have so much fun. Am awesome dinner at The Keg in Banff Alberta then back to our room for some fun! He made love to me for hours. It was so weird that I had been so afraid of sex and told myself, throughout my life, that I would always hate it. I couldn’t even think about it because the abuse would always haunt me. With Marcus, it never came into my mind. Only Marcus could do that to my brain and my thoughts. He was magical and I loved him. We spoke about having kids one day. We thought perhaps after he got his work permit papers, we would be able to get our own place and start or life together totally. Not living amongst family members. We had no problem living with my family. In a way it was definitely cheaper. We could save up money to get our own place. One day a month later, we started our usual deliveries and for some reason I could not stop throwing up. I felt wheezy and dizzy. The next morning, same thing. Then again and again. Marcus took me to the doctor once again hoping the flu didn’t return. The doctor was unable to see me so we went to the hospital. It was freaking us out why I would be so nauseated and my upper body ached. After the doctors assessment and some blood work, the doctor walked into my room with Marcus next to be and told me something that totally shocked us both. I was pregnant and going to have a baby. How??? We always had protection. The doctor informed us that cough syrup cancels that protection out leaving the womb more vulnerable. Well? It sure did!! We were so shocked and excited and felt overwhelmed with feelings. Marcus kissed me and said “Well? We are going to have a baby”! What? How exciting. A new unexpected chapter of life!
theangelsforgotme 