My brother told us he was diagnosed with multiple myeloma. He had thought he had the flu. He had already been on dialysis because he only had one kidney from problems when he was younger. His kidneys were not functioning properly so dialysis was put into place with a pic in his chest. The dialysis took a toll from him always. He was completely unable to urinate. My brother had always lived a great life. He was not extremely wealthy but wealthy enough to own and enjoy the finer things in life. He owned his own company that produced oil tanks for storage. He owned a Viper and other fancy cars. He was big on collectibles of great value including a Faberge` egg called the “Imperial Coronation” more of the most famous and iconic egg in the Faberge Family. It made an appearance in the movie “Oceans 11″. He also had many collections of gold and silver coins and bars. Our brother Rob was also the owner of expensive collectors items with Ducks Unlimited Paintings, football’s signed by pro athletes and clothing signed by famous people such as Dale Erinheart. He was also an extreme outdoors-man. He loved fishing and owned the newest and the latest equipment including bass boats for tournaments. Anything his heart wanted, he would own it or work very hard to own it including a beautiful property in which he lived in and another lakefront property an hour away from his home. Rob also lived to golf. It was his hobby. He would set up annual tournaments worth millions for golfers to join and play. All proceeds going to charity. When Rob first started dialysis years before, the meaning of charity took on a whole new vision for him. He became dedicated to helping others as much as he could. He would sit for hours during his dialysis sessions and watch people around him suffering from one thing or another. With each session, he would take the entire floor staff donuts and coffee. At one point he bought the entire floor a new washer and dryer including kitchen stuff for the staff and patients. All the proceeds of his golf tournaments would go to charities and he would never leave the little ones out including the seniors homes. Offering them whatever they needed to properly tend to all seniors. Our brother was the most dedicated, inspirational, fun loving and most generous man anyone would ever get the chance to know. He was smart and never let anyone take advantage of him in any way. Rob was a diabetic. Getting his sugar under control you think would be easy but with dialysis and now cancer, it was more difficult. The other biggest problem he had was chemotherapy. There was only one chemo treatment they could use on him for his cancer. With his dialysis coming into play, he was unable to urinate any other chemo out so they could not use it to save him. His breathing was getting worse and the myeloma was taking over all the bones in his body. By this time, his then doctor told him he only had a month to live and began the process of putting him on palliative care. They said there was nothing more they could do for him. My mother actually lost it. My eldest sister, her husband and my mother went to visit him in Edmonton. He was staying at a hotel close to the hospital. While visiting, he seemed positive. His breathing a little heavy. They were going to try a few more chemo treatments because Rob put up such a stink. He refused to go onto palliative care. Around the early afternoon, Rob decided to take a little nap. He was very tired and worn out. While everyone visited in the main room, they noticed quite a few hours went by. My mother got concerned. His wife said to just leave him sleeping as he must have been very tired, so they did. Still deeply concerned, my mother and sister kept going in the room to check on him. He was sound asleep. His wife again, stopped anyone from waking him up. Finally my sister put her foot down angrily and said that this nap was way too long. She entered his room and places her hand on his forehead, whispering to him to wake up. He didn’t even flinch. Almost immediately she knew something was wrong. He was hot. Sweating all over. His forehead was so hot she began lightly slapping his face to wake up. No matter what their attempts, he didn’t move. They began to get more aggressive, nothing. My mother screamed and my sister ran to the phone to call 911. Within minutes, police and ambulance were there. They immediately jumped on his chest and assessed him with medical equipment working very fast and loud. It was determined he was slipping into a coma or already in one. He was rushed to the hospital and put on life support. My mother and sister were frantic. My sister knew it was her chance to hold her emotions because our mother was going to have a heart attack. She began beating her chest and pulling the hairs on her head out. She started yelling up to God in the hospital hallway just outside his door. ” Why are you taking him”??? “Why are you making me watch my son go first, before me”??? “You took my husband and now your taking my son, my child! Take me first! Take me before him. Take me, please take him, please don’t make me watch”!!!
With prompt medical attention, the medical team at the University hospital managed to get his vitals under control and within a few hours, he came to. He was extremely week but no longer in a coma. The medical team worked on him consistently. He was never alone for a moment. My sister decided she would take the chance to get our mother away from the hospital and bring her back home. If anything was going to happen, especially with our mother there, we would lose both our mother and our brother. The doctors told my sister that it was their recommendation she go home for now. Not only was she approaching her eighties, she also had diabetes and a weak heart. Thankfully Robert’s vitals were improving. Slowly but improving. With great force, they got her into the car for a long drive back to Calgary. His wife would stay with him and report any and all changes to us. Once she arrived home, she began the hair pulling and beating her chest violently. It got so sever we had to threaten her to stop the yelling and all she was doing to herself or we would call am ambulance to pick her up. She refused to go but we threatened her even more. We just wanted her to calm down a bit. We explained that she was acting as though he WAS dead and he wasn’t. We had to yell at her and again tell her over and over that if he passed away, the reaction would be more appropriate but he was alive. He was on the mend, slowly, from a dangerous place he was just previously in. It was July and his doctor had only given him until the end of August 2011 to live. They had given him aggressive chemo treatments in the days following. His weakness was only bad after dialysis but he refused to lose the game. Rob always called his sickness “a game”. In my brothers history, he loved games. He was a very extreme competitive player and refused to lose. Now, his sickness was called a game to him. A game he refused to lose. The family ended up deciding to plan a vacation that would be a peaceful and quiet retreat of some kind that our brother would appreciate. A gathering with everything he loved all in one. Rob came up with idea as he began feeling better but the doctors words were still embedded in his mind. August. A family vacation many years ago on three houseboats was brought up in discussion. They talked about how much fun it was. The lake, the surroundings, fishing, cooking, docking at night and enjoying the night sky was what he wanted. He left it to me to do all the bookings and arrange everything. After getting the cost finalized including gas for the boat and groceries, I was to let four families know and we would split the cost four ways. Rob wanted to take care of the whole thing but we all refused. The cost would be split and we would all come together and enjoy each other while we could. The trip was not going to be fun. Watching him weak, sick and not able to eat properly would be the most difficult thing to see. He loved his food and the sun, so many outdoor things and could not enjoy any of them but as long as he was in his element, that was all he wanted. In case his doctors were correct, which we all refused to believe, this was what he wanted and needed from us and we would be there with him no matter what.
theangelsforgotme 